Best Self Right Now
What does it mean to be your best self? Does it mean that I workout 4 times a week, eat healthy, make perfect meals for my kids, to smile and be happy all day?
Looking back at old blogs I've written, I saw that what I was going through and what was going on in my life was always changing. Some times were better then others, some times were tougher then others. But it made me realize that my best self is an always changing definition.
A year ago, I wrote (and swore a little) about struggling with being home with two kids, having a husband/father working out of town and working full time myself. I was having a hard time figuring out how to make it all better and how to still be my best self. I felt like I couldn't shed any light on how to do that but then I realized f**k it! F**k what I thought my best self SHOULD be and be okay with what my best self looked like at that time. Who cares if all I could do at that time was go to the gym once every two weeks, or we were eating fast food 1-2/week. My family was happy, I was happy and that best self was doing alright.
I was a very different "best" after I had E, my very cute but very colicky baby who NEVER slept. Or the months after the colicky baby phase, that I released it wasn't tiredness that was making me so sad, it was Postpartum Depression. During both of those times I was going to the gym 3 times a week, had lost weight and was putting on a really good front for others. I might have been sad and not myself during those times but I got up every morning, made sure my family was taken care of and that was all I could handle at that time. So for that time in my life, that was my best self and I was doing what I could to overcome PPD.
Right now, I am very happy with my best self. I am starting a new journey in life, blogging! I am able to workout at home since my kids are sleeping better and even though my husband still works out of town most of the time, we are able to keep a strong connection. I'm not sure if this best self will be here for the next 6 months or even the next month but I'm always growing and learning to make peace with all of the stages and ages of my life.
Really, our best self is not consistent, it is forever changing with us. So don't stress so much about what you think your best self should be and be okay with what your best self is at that time. In that month, week, day, hour or minute your best self is doing your best at that time with what you have. All you can ever do is your best!
And when it comes down to it, you do you! Whatever that you is!